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Abington police ask singles to turn in their outlaw exes this Valentine’s Day

ABINGTON – Have an ex you can’t stand with an outstanding warrant, or perhaps an old fling who slings drug as a side hustle?

If so, the Abington Police Department wants to treat them to a “Valentine’s Day surprise.”

In a jocular Facebook post, the small Plymouth County town’s police department said:

“Do you have an ex-valentine that you know has warrants? Or maybe they’re driving around drunk🍻 or with drugs💊 on board. This year, we have a very special gift for them!🎁
Just give us a call with their location and we’ll take care of the rest!
This special holiday offer comes with…
🚔 FREE Transportation
🛏 Secure Accommodations
🍞 FREE Dinner
📸 A professional set of photos we’ll share all over the internet
⬇️ And a very special set of bracelets!⬇️
Don’t wait! Call today! Our operators are standing by!
☎️781-878-3232☎️
Not in Abington? A department near you would be glad to assist!”

Abington Police Department’s Facebook Page

Now, this Valentine’s gag is perhaps more cynical than the zoo in San Antonio, Texas, that will name a cockroach after your ex before feeding it to an animal on Valentine’s Day.

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